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You have led me to this place where I now lie before You, looking up at the branches reaching to the sky to you. Seekin Your presence and Your face, Your guidance and Your strength. Your plans for my life stand fir like the trunk on this tree. Although your plans are yet unreVEALed to me. With one glance, You see all the generations that have ggone before, that are present now, and that will come in the future. You see it all! Allow me to rest in the knowledge that each and every day You go before me, and that in the end, all will be well with my soul and spirit.lookingup5g

mornings

 

The water was so still at sunset tonight.
“Lord you lead me by still water, you were with me in the green of Washington Gardens today. Restore my soul, thank you for the path you took me on. I felt you by my side all day. Your goodness and mercy are with me in this minute, this hour, and this day. Thank you Lord.sunset44

Last year seems each day I was writing about giving something up.  Today at work, I brought my camera and took pictures of people on my breaks.  It was nice watching people smile.   Lord, here I am, relaxing after a busy day, wondering what I learned today.  Did I get quiet enough today?  Still enough?  Guess I’m relaxing for another busy day tomorrow.  Help me stay calm tomorrow and not get caught up in the frenzied pace of this world, but to set a pace that is pleasing to You!   I’ve been asking for direction?  Are you listening Lord please show me the way.  I’m ready to take another step with you.  Show me the way!  Does sure and steady win the race, and my race is to win the prize of YOUR presence in my life.  Help me to keep that in the forefront of my mind.  May I not become anxious but keep your word  of peace in my heart, and to be a place of peace in the presence of others.   I love you Lord, let me show you not in words, but in action.  Brian wrote the other day on his facebook wall, Seek first the kingdom of God.  Lord, help me to keep the main thing the main thing and do exactly that.  Beholding your beauty, that is all that is really important, not whether or not I get all my work done, all my pictures edited, all my church duties done.  As I receive requests for my time and ability, give me wisdom to say yes and no in accordance to your will Lord.  I love you!

In the play “Les Mis”  there  are words to a song and part of it goes to love another person is to see the face of God.  This is so true.  I’ve tried to think what I learned today Lord.  Life passes so quickly Lord, yet for this precious amount of time in my life Lord I’ve been blessed.  Thank you for feelings of love today Lord from places in my heart I haven’t felt in a while.  Thank you for Brian.  You know my heart better than anyone.  Be my valentine Lord!  Let your love flow through me and into Brian.  I had moments today Lord, just feeling I will be o.k. I continue to follow you.  I know your listening Father.coach555

He has told you, O Mortal, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but to do jusice, adn to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Another Ash Wednesday, a new year and a new walk through 40 days.  Giving up sweets for 40 days.  But it’s much more about something else than giving up chocolate.  It’s about walking the talk in our real lives, out in the world every day.  Sometimes it’s hard sometimes to keep on, to keep the faith, to keep fighting all fo the injustice we see in our world, to keep hearts full of love that want to do kindness, to rememeber our true place as all being children of God, all equal in the eyes of God and to walk and live and move in that humility.  Just got back from our Ash Wednesday Service.  Pastor Linda said it is her hope and prayer that we journey through this Lenton season together.  I felt the spirit tonight, it’s been a while it was while we sang a song called Jesus Keep Me Near the Cross  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dwOKFLiCf4

 

“Lord at this beginning of Lent I find myself weak, you know my heart better than anyone, I struggle to be still.  Nothing is hidden from you.  At times I try to smile and there are other things going on in my heart.  Help me in my walk each day.  Give me the wisdom to do what you want.  Please guide me, and let me be quiet and take the time I need to feel your presence in my life.  Thank you Holy Spirit for visiting me.  Keep me in your prayers as you have always prayed for me, but I am just learning you have been praying for me all the while. Stay by my side.

ashwed

I wrote in my last entry that I thought I knew the lessons of why I was where I was right now.   Today I’m feeling like the  lesson I though in my last entry wasn’t really the lesson today.   Not really sure what the lesson is, just that I may not have understood where I was, but I should also be thankful for that as well, not just choose to appreciate something else because it may feel better.  Not to appreciate the thing that feels better, but to also appreciate the things that are hard for us as well.   I still have much praying to do tonight!   Learning a lesson in Patience I guess.   I love you Lord!  I’m sorry for so many things.   For not always letting you lead me, for just being plain stubborn sometimes.  I’m sorry that I’ve said the Lord told me or lead me to do something, when I look back on it, and I wonder did you really or was it more about self, and what I wanted, or what I thought I could or couldn’t do.   I wish I could write more to you tonight Lord, but I think I’m just going to have to say it in prayer!   You felt my heart when I took this tonight!  Now that you know it, will you take it out, and cleanse every part?

 

Today I revisited the past in one of my blogs, and looked at where I was, and today I look at where I am.  Have been sitting with so much!   Mostly today I have thought about all those that have shaped my life.  Mostly though I have thought of how you Lord shaped me.  Psalm 139:13-15 “Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Makes me think more of my dream of you with me when i was a baby in the dark inside my mom’s belly.  Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body;”  What a beautiful revelation, and declaration, from the Psalmist King, David, of how God is, and has always been, aware of us. Things happen to us that we cannot help, it is after we come to a knowledge of what the baggage we are carrying really is, that we can choose to put it down or just keep on carrying it with us for the rest of our lives and use it as a crutch to live miserably.   This song by Amy Grant is really touching to me tonight!    Be with me Lord as I rest, give me vision in the morning as I wake.   I’m praying now as I write, maybe this is how I should pray, I’ve never tried to pray this way before!   Lord I’m so excited about my new job!  Answered prayer, I will do my best to go where you lead me.  I didn’t really understand why I was supposed to go where I have been working, but I think I understand a little better.   To make me appreciate more what I have when I have it.   Lord help me to let go of what I’m  supposed to let go if I’m supposed to.  Even if I am not the one to choose to let go, be with me, and be with Brian on his journey too!  You know our hearts and I will trust you wherever you take me!   I love you Lord!  I pray for my church!  Let us remember why we are there.  Be with all of our church family!    Hold me!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MFbW4cgRj4

I woke up around 7:00 this morning to get ready for my interview Lord, have been in prayer about it, for your will.   Didn’t sleep much as you know.   I left to a torrential downpour, haven’t drove in that much rain in a long time.   I wa, s so worried I would be a soaking mess for my interview, I prayed for it to clear up and a mile before I got there, it cleared completely up, I didn’t get wet at all.    Lord I”m so tired I can’t hardly get all my thoughts together, but the weather made me think of many things fair weather Christians, but looking at the pictures I took, I was thinking it’s time to face up to all I’m feeling, which lately it seems like a lot.   It hasn’t cost me much to be a Christian so far, but the day may come when it will cost me to name the name of Jesus.  Still thinking of that book Brian gave me, feel like I need to read it again.   Sorry I didn’t read the bible today, I did read a few verses though, that people put with my picture I took.  I love you Lord!  Hug me all night, I need hugs!

Last night I make a testimony, today I am filled with trials.   Lord this aint gonna be easy is it?  Well you never promised me it was.  But I know each trial makes me stronger, and even if I don’t understand, you see so much more  than me Lord.  I haven’t really got much past Genesis since I’ve been starting back reading the Bible every day.   I keep trying to take it in sometimes verse by verse and sometimes just reading.   Tonight I just came home and opened from the start again.  Genesis 1:1-4  In the beginning when God created the heaveans and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters.  Then God said, “Let there be light”, and there was light.  And God saw that light was good….

I think of God so many time as light, makes me think that he made light then.  and it was good.   I can’t imagine anything without light?  Funny I thought Revelations was hard, but here I am at the very beginning.   And now writing the last sentence thinking of the end of the bible.   Starts with Light.    I think of some images of Revalations, there is some really beautiful imagery there.  I’m imagining a place where there will be no more sorrow, tears, pain, or death!  A place with twelve gates0 three on the north, three on the south, three in the east, and three on the west- so anyone and everyone can enter!  I’m imaging a place so beautiful, we are almost  blinded by it’s brilliance!  I’m imagining basking in HIS light all day and all night in God’s presence!   Remain faithful- so simple and so difficult.  I’ve felt the pull of light and darkness Lord in my day today, Lord help me stay in the LIGHT YOU made and said was good!    You know my struggles, you know my heart.  When bad things start happening to me Lord, the devil tells me I deserve it, and you Lord tell me you are making me stronger.   It is so hard Lord to try and stay connected to you, but hope is alive!  God I know you are doing something new.   Did you make heaven before Earth?  It says in the beginning you made the Heavens and the Earth, it says Earth was dark, but was Heaven Light?  I love you Lord!  Turning out the lights soon, but I may keep a nightlight on like I did when I was little!  God even in my darkness, I know you will provide!   I believe Lord, I have faith Lord, but it sure is hard Lord.    Please keep me on the right path!

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